Deep thoughts by Mitch Hedberg to brighten your day.

Heard of this guy?  Patrick sent this to me this morning and I cannot stop reading it.   Hilarious...  http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

Some of my personal favorites:
- Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave, too."

- I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring

- When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself.

- I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here

- One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You s-o-b! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera... what's it look like?

- By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be...a thirsty dude! Gatorade forgets about this demographic!

- I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

- You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.^[7]

- An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

- I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.^[4]